3.12.2013

Little Rascal


If you saw me yesterday, you would have thought my dog had died, the way I looked.  
It’s because my dog died yesterday.
If you've been to my house and driven up my driveway in the last 8 months, you've probably seen a little dog come running.  And running.  And not stopping.  And you've probably slammed on your brakes because he was headed straight towards your front tire.  A dumb dog, I used to say.  Finally a few months back I stopped hitting the brakes at all.  I’d lose site of him every time he ran at me, but a second later I’d see him running away from the car.  Maybe if I got real close it would teach him a lesson.
Last summer I opened my front door and there he was.  A strange dog with no collar.  He was so scared, but he stayed right by the front door.  And stayed, and stayed, and never left.  By the end of the day I had named him Little Rascal and decided we’d keep him if we couldn't find his owners.  The next day we let him outside thinking he would wonder off, but he just never did.  I can count on one hand the times I even saw him cross the street since he adopted us. 
He barked a lot, but we called him our guard dog.  He chewed stuff up, but most of the time he just wanted to cuddle with someone.  And he let little Sarah grab his face and never bit.  He let Naomi pretend he was her baby.  And most of all, he was a companion to our Lucy.
So yesterday I drove home, came up the driveway, and didn't hit the brakes when he came running at the car; business as usual.  He ran away before I stopped, but for some reason, turned around and came right back. 
I should never have waited for him to learn his lesson.  (Obviously, Mary) The loss of my little dog is just a hair worse than the guilt I feel.  He liked rolling rubber?  He liked the thrill? He thought the tires were bringing him bacon?  I don’t know why he ALWAYS chased the front of my car.  But he did, and that was who he was.  So if I wanted to keep him around, I should have been more careful.
I mean, why risk it?

Love you Rascal.
Rest In Peace.




5.31.2012

A mess is a mess, unless....


I work from home, as a homemaker
It’s my eighth year at this job
My performance might make you question
Who the heck hired this slob?

I should mention my four children
The obedient, the clown, the climber, and the happy
I also have a honey, I love him
I’d say more, but this would get sappy

My morning begins with my alarm
It says “Mommy, I need breakfast now!”
In the kitchen I unload the dishwasher
While the kids scarf down their chow

The dishwasher still open
Half the dishes put away
I leave to pack up Obedient
And send him off for the day

It’s then I think to feed the dog
And tend to laundry that’s nearby
But of course, this is about the time
That Happy starts to cry

When I finish feeding my baby
I notice the messy floor
“I need to pick this up” I think
“Why didn’t I do this before?”

I ask Clown and Climber to help
They know where everything goes
But change my mind when I see all the skin
And say “Lets go put on some clothes.”

The hallway sure needs vacuumed
I’ve just plugged in the cord
When Clown asks me to play with him
And hands me his foam sword

I have big plans to clean today
I do, I really do
But Climber just fell and cut herself
<Sigh> so much for follow through

We’re back from the store, how stressful
Last nerve, but I’m trying not to shout
“Let’s put away the groceries guys”
No wait, Happy had a blow-out

The bills make me miss my days
At the computer in the ‘cube’
But as much as I’d like to pay them
Clown and Climber prefer YouTube

Obedient home from school
Dinner is smelling nice
There’s that open dishwasher
But homework needs checked twice

I’ll do it when they’re sleeping
I’ll deal with the debris
But Honey needs some time he says
And so we watch TV

Someday you’ll see my home
It’s ok to think the worst
It’s not that I don’t try; it’s just
My family, not my job
My family comes first

1.29.2012

What I thought of..... Later.....

I don't say much during Sunday School every week. The reason is simple: I'm a slow thinker. When I get home though, I've finally processed things and I find I have opinions to share. Well, too late.
I realized today, I could write them down anyway.
Today our lesson was comparing Nephi to Laman/Lemuel. As you can expect it was a "Nephi is good because..." list vs. a "Laman/Lemuel are bad because...." list.
At one point, a sister in the class confessed to relating more with L/L's murmuring than with Nephi's quick obedience.
Soon after, our teacher pointed out that as soon as God asked Nephi to build a boat, his response was immediately 'I will go and do as thou asks' (paraphrasing). Our teacher expressed surprise at Nephi's fast and faithful response. He said had he been given the same charge, his first response would be 'How the heck am I going to build a boat!?'
So, here is where I would go back and chime in. I think we've set up Nephi as being a little too perfect. The Book of Nephi is not a complete view of the inner-workings of Nephi's mind. If God were to ask me to build a boat, I think it's fine, and totally human to think first 'How the heck am I going to build a boat?'
Faith is an action. From Nephi's words, we believe Nephi had unwavering faith. I think we can assume that between the time Nephi received revelation about building a boat, and his prayerful response to the Lord that he would obey, Nephi was only human. He could have been thinking a hundred different things. I don't want to take away from the good example set by Nephi in this story; just point out the possibility that accepting God's words could have been a process for Nephi. But like they say, thoughts lead to actions; and his action was obedience.

My favorite scripture story is Esther. The reason is Esther 4:11. Her uncle Mordecai has asked that she speak to the king on behalf of the Jews. Her first response is that she will most likely die if she tries. She uses valuable time to send that message to her uncle and wait for a response. This is, oh, so very human. Of course she was worried for her own life. Who wouldn't be? In the end, she was courageous and a heroine because she risked her life anyway. But this story is more real to me than any other.

I love that the scriptures can teach us so much. Many many lessons we learn from many stories. Even many lessons from one story. Today, had I been a faster thinker, I would have tried to remind those around me that because I believe the scriptures are true stories of real people, it's ok to see them as real people. No one is really perfect.


6.09.2011

Devils

I have three tazmanian devils
Trails of clothes and toys and food
They fight and screech and cry
Unreasonable, naughty, attitude

Sure they make me laugh
They're cute enough to pinch
And when they use their manners
Life seems to be a cinch

Tonight I heard a prayer
Young, innocent and flawed
'Help me be like Jesus'
'Help me to help God'

What my devil didn't know
Is that he answered the big question
Of how to live our lives
Of how to be a Christian

The purity is unmatched
I've learned this much tonight
If I ever lost my devils
I'd surely lose my light

5.05.2011

I Get It

I think I get it now
Which means I have to start all over
The beauty of aging is experience
Experience, and then that point when you realize
I'll never understand
I'll never be perfect

These things I've been taught all my life
Have I used them? Practiced them?
Do I love my neighbor?
Am I really giving thanks?
I have to start all over
Not look around

Because no one else is perfect
I know, I get it
No one, no one, no one, no one
I can't tell who has started over
Only He will ever know
So I start here; just me, and Him

4.17.2011

Life

Life is tedious, and frustrating, and painful, and funny,
and full, and lonely, and happy, and wonderful, and short
You only get today once
I'll only see April 2011 for a month and then its over
My 2 year old will only be 2 for a year, and then its gone
How do I hold on to this?
With a firm grip, that follows
Follows only the things that make a long path
With strength, gratitude, perspective, and faith
I look to the end to find where I am